"May he fall so deep in love with the God of second chances"

So my title is stolen from my brother in laws song. :)

"Life Marches on".... it does everyday. Some days are easier than others. But we must go on while here.

I think its a perfect follow up to my last blog.

Last night the blog I wrote was real "off" so in a way I'm glad I some how deleted it. LOL!! I was upset when I realized I had spent an hour typing and to know you weren't going to get to read it!!! LOL Oh well, its a "do over" :)

So what I had written about was that last week was a hard week. Its funny that this morning on the way home from the y I heard this on the radio though: it was a conversation about working out and how her body "craved" it. Because that is exactly what I had written about. She was talking about feeling ill if she went two days without working out and how she works out just to sweat. I was like, "how odd" I was just blogging about this last night.

So last week was a hard week for me. At first I wasn't sure why. And reason I am choosing not to share, however I clearly ended up knowing why. Life is about changes and so is the business I work in. Last week there were a lot of changes I had to endure. And as much as I would love to say stress generally doesn't get to me I have learned that no matter who you are stress will eat you from the inside out. So lets go back to Sunday, the week started great. We had Eli's celebration birthday party. We did tons of cleaning. I felt like it was my work out and I actually did a great job on food I consumed that day. Monday rolls around and there was NO drive at all in fact most days that I close I get excited because I get to go to the y at an okay time and I get a good work out in. However Monday I could care less if there was a y. I wanted to sleep in spend time with the kids and quite frankly I would be lying if I said I wanted to go to work. In fact I would have rather not. However "new" things were in store for me. Monday came, I "thought"(key word) that it was a GREAT day didn't think things could have gone better. Tuesday rolled around and it was my day off and someone very specials 8th birthday. I knew I wanted to actually go to the y. I mean I do have a goal and I don't give up very easily. So I had told myself just go for 30 minutes and get home and bake the cake and go get the kids and spend a good day off with them. As much as I didn't want to let my business life effect my personal life it was about to happen. I took the kids to daycare. I had the conversation with Eli about what we would do for his special day and we set a time that I would be back to get him. (great little time teller fyi). I went to lunch with Brent did some running around, and made it to they y. I was already, moody and when things aren't going my way I tend to well, just say screw it. I looked at the clock as I was getting on the elipictial and realized that I really probably only had 45 min before I needed to leave to go get the kids because like I said Eli is a great time teller. I got started and before I was like 8 min in I wanted to leave. I told myself no, so the mental vs physical battle had begun. 12 min in I was like make it 30 min and you can leave. Well needless to say 30 min came and went and I did my whole hour knowing I was pushing my luck with time. I knew this "me" time was important. I went back and forth with myself the entire time I was there about how much time I would be there. The night was great we took uncle Zach with us to dinner and he got Lone Star to sign to Eli!!! Wednesday I was back to forget the y. I was the closer again and was well not "into" it. :) Needless to say I was not a friendly person come Wednesday at 9pm. I had found out that yet there were going to be even more "changes", my closest ASM buddy was getting ready to go work for our old manager. :( Thursday was upon us already. I opened and was like forget getting up early there is no point to that. I tend to like my sleep. By noon I had plans in the making for going to the y. I needed my "drug" I wasn't feeling well I had, had this horrible headache all week I couldn't get rid of, everything and everyone was starting to "get" to me. I had to go spend a nice amount of money to enroll our kids in school. So after spending the money I was off to the y. Like I said I was craving my drug, the drug of sweat, pain, and just the smell of the cardio room. Odd, not really. I have been training my body to get used to this. And when I cut it out, my body wanted to shut down.

I get the y. Mind you I have been in a weight loss plato for about one month. Meaning no weight loss. So you could say I was frustrated. A lot had changed professionally for me. Personally my first born is getting older!!! :) So getting to the y. Well I hit a mile stone. Before I took my break back in June to go on a few travels I had been pacing my personal best of 5.75 miles. So what unfolded next was clearly my drive, desire and need for feeling well. I was able to de-stress. Even though I personally thought and acted and to many others(other than my husband) and appeared to be just fine and happy. The stress was getting me from the inside starting to come to the surface. One hour, 6.25 miles and 730 calories burned later. I felt like puking. Oddly enough this has become my new "feeling" my new "crave" and I know if I don't feel this way before I leave I find something else to do to push myself to this level. What happened next to me was a success. I lost weight. I moved past that wall, I moved that mountain. It felt great I left smiling and feeling refreshed.

It amazes me that even though I know my body is worn out I feel better leaving the y then when I entered. I love the feeling. I have added someone to my new inspiration list, Ashley Showalter, you amaze me inspire me and make me what to do more. Actually I have been stuck around that 40-43 lbs lost, and when you posted that you had lost more than me I was well ticked, you make me want to do more to lose more. You are so strong and beautiful. You have been through hell and back and haven't deserved to be there at all. You commitment to your daughter husband and brothers blows me away. You deserve only the best and I look forward every day to seeing your post and where you've been where your going and how you got there or plan on getting there. Thank you for who you are and more so for being a friend to me.

Friday came and I was so ready to get the meeting over and get to the y. I had asked a friend run or elip. And this is the extact statement I got "Run don't half ass it. U have been working hard at this no need to short yourself now." So I did. I used the app couch to 5k aka c25k. Real easy run/walk mix. I did it and with the app and my time, 2 miles. Not as many calories burned that I was used to, but.....I had a light bulb moment. You have to ENDURE CHANGE. Your body gets "used" to the routine. It gets comfortable. When you become comfortable you quit pushing. Needless to say I lost another pound. What this friend doesn't know is how much that statement has impacted me. Here I was like oh cool I've been doing this for 6 plus months, I'm doing good. And many people don't seem to say much about my dedication. Which is okay, however this statement proved something to me. Even though I'm doing this for me and no one else it was good to know that people see how hard I am working and that I want to go to the next level. Sometimes we need that little push to get there. You have to be willing to CHANGE how you work how things work and how life works in order to be successful. Change is hard and usually not fun. BUT in order to move to the next level you have be willing to CHANGE!!! hmm how odd that my personal and professional lives are all about change and success.

So here is my sum up. And if you are still reading I apologize for such a long blog today. I haven't written in awhile.

1. Stress gets to even the "untouchables"
2. Aug 13th is JFJ at AVE A and ASHLEY WILL BE SINGING
3. I will keep using my blog to promote, and educate
4. Friends are important to my success
5. Quitting is not an option
6. Change must take place
7. August 13 at 6:30 pm where will you be.
8. I hit a personal best last week
9. I ran and LOVED it.
10. Justice for Jenny is one of my deepest passions. I will not stop, give up, or shut up until JUSTICE FOR her is served.

You may have noticed I got my Jenny plug in there, here is another one go to you tube search bignix04. Its my brother in law and he is AWESOME!!!!

JUST REMEMBER: "Life Marches ON"

Love you all!!!!!!!!!!